Moving Forward

SHP SB '08

I am brown. Urban, if you will. Why am I brown? Because I spent last week in Panama City Beach, FL! Yeah, be jealous. Chealous? Ha, so anyways trip number one to florida was a pretty good time. Who wouldn't have fun sitting on a beach and playing in the water with friends? So I got to Indiana on Monday, we left tuesday night and got to Florida Wednesday around 11am. We went right to the beach and pretty stayed there all day. Sweet right? We left Saturday morning to come back. Sunday I went to church in Indiana and then came home. "Super Harry Potter Spring Break '08" is the title Trent gave our road trip. Awesome, right?
I came home to a bunch of sickies though. Alexandria has some stomach flu and just today my sister is starting to feel sick. AND we're supposed to go to Florida this thursday. Please God, no sickness! I'm a huge freak about stomach flu stuff... throwing up is the one thing that has the ability to make me cry every time. So pleasant, I know. I'm really hoping that everyone gets better because I'm planning on going... and hanging out with my bff. :) I can't wait to see stacy!
Moving on. Thursday evening in Panama City I went down to the beach because it was nap time, but I wasn't tired enough to sleep. I brought my bible and a pen. Being in the word isn't something I've been very consistent about these days. But being there and watching the waves of the ocean make their way in, and watching the sun creep down below the horizon I couldn't do anything but praise the Lord. So I started flipping through. not really sure what to read, I stopped in the Pslams. It seems so easy to stop there because you don't have to commit to much in the way of heavy reading. I read over some stuff I had highlighted at some point in the past, but nothing was speaking to me at all. Then I flipped to the gospel of Mark... I usually go to one of the other three gospels, but I stopped in Mark 7. I had just a few verses underlined, but the first one jumped at me. Verse 20 says "...it is the thought life that defiles you." Whoa. The whole chapter is about inner purity. I have a freakishly active thought life... meaning my mind is always racing and I'm always working through something in my head. I've made myself anxious before because I over thought something. It can really hinder me. Sometimes when I'm in discussions with people, instead of really listening intently I'm thinking of a rebuttal or a response to whatever they're saying. All that said, the amount of time I spend in thought can sometimes hinder me. I don't think that's what the verse is actually saying, but God used it to tell me to be still. To be calm and to let Him be in control. By having such an active thought life I tend to really control the way everything in my life runs instead of allowing God that time and space to be a part of it.
In the grand scheme of things, I was only in the book of Mark for about 2 minutes. My focus became John chapter 15. This is a chapter that I've heard a ton of sermons on, I've read books on it, I've been on mission trips and retreats focused around this chapter. All in all, over the years I've grown weary of it and usually just skim over it now when I'm reading through John because I think I know it all. WRONG!!
I read over the first four verses... I probably could have recited them, but this time it was different. This time I really felt the Spirit speaking to me. God was reaching out to me. It had been so long since I'd allowed Jesus to speak because I'm so wrapped up in me, I was a little surprised. How sad is that? Not the point though. The point is, I realized that I am not producing much fruit. Not that there's not some, but my branch is withering away and if it doesn't get pruned soon, it'll die. K, yes that's pretty dramatic in a humanistic way of thinking. Where have I been? I've been doing bible study and accountability, I've been teaching lessons in youth group, I've been going to church and planning things, but in all that I've not been doing much seeking. I've not been doing much shutting up either. I've not been allowing God to work... even though Jesus says "apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5b. Jesus commands me, "remain in my love." I want to. He also commands, "I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you." I'm trying to do that. I need to try harder. I need to have Christ's attitude about loving others... He reveals so much of His/God's nature in this chapter.
Something else that kinda jumped at me was verse 13 which says, "the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends." Jesus chose me.
I have been appointed to produce fruit. Jesus has appointed me. How am I producing fruit? I've been thinking about this for days now. Fruit is being produced, but not as abundantly as possible. My branch hasn't been severed, it really just needs to be pruned. Prune my branch God.
Two hours of sitting on the beach alone, reading the word, worshipping God, singing(and probably scaring some people) and watching the sunset is an amazing way to spend an evening, let me tell ya.
I've been working in the city the last two days and I have to work tomorrow again which means I've gotta be up by 5am. Tomorrow is my last day before Florida again though and I get to see my dad, so I'm keeping on. I can sleep on the plane I suppose (as long as no babies are barfing on me!). On that note, enjoy your week!

posted by Moving Forward @ 9:52 PM