Moving Forward

Death was a loomin'

Last week Wednesday a member of the congregation at my church was killed in a car accident. He was 75 years old and a very funny, sweet old man. Two of his grandkids are of youth group age. The older one is very independent and likes to do things on her own. She doesn't like to be bothered by other people, but I love her independent attitude. The younger one is really sweet and I actually didn't meet him til I was subbing last fall. I introduced myself to him during school and now he's most likely coming on the mission trip... 9 months later. Kinda cool, right? I thought so. So anyways, these kids have experienced a ton of loss in their lives lately. They are in a broken home and even though things appear fine on the surface, they are dealing with a lot. Then there was another death in their family, merely months ago. It's hitting them all really hard.
Thursday night I went to the Maundy-Thursday service at church. It was beautiful. And painful. Pastor, me, and another lady from church "stripped" the alter and then covered the cross with a black cloth. Stripping the alter means taking everything down. Candles and everything. Wheatland Salem UM in Naperville always did this during Good Friday service and it became my favorite service of the year there. We do this to symbolize the death of Christ on the cross and then on Easter morning the alter is covered in bright cloths and gorgeous flowers. It's so triumphant.
Anyways... so Maundy-Thursday really got to me. Like Good Friday usually does. I'm so deeply reminded of the suffering and distress on one Man to save me. Death has always affected me quite a bit. I've lost a lot of people that were close to me. All of my grandparents are gone, friends, and other family. It's something that I have a hard time with because the realization of where we're spending eternity always comes to mind now.
Moving on... so, friday was the wake for the man who passed away and I decided that I needed to go if nothing else than to show the kids I really care about them. Well as you can imagine, I'm not a fan of funerals or wakes. (the last wake I went to was for an 18 month old baby who was killed as a result of shaken baby syndrome and it was something I hope to never experience again. I had never met the kid. He was the grand-baby of an acquaintance and I was there to support her and my best friend. I cried more at that wake and immediately following than I care to think about. It was gut-wrenching.) So my last experience was a bad one, to say the least. But I had to be there. It was amazing... I stood in line for an hour and a half just to make it up to hug the widow and her family. There were so many people there and they were laughing and telling stories and holding each other up, it was just awesome. Most other deaths I've experienced were all focused on the actual loss and this seemed to be focused on the life. It was great. I got to see my kids and hug them and talk with them just for a few, but it was enough.
I got through the line and left there at about 7 which is exactly when Good Friday service was starting at my church. So I rushed over to the church from the funeral home and was only about 5 minutes late for service. Again, the mood went to somber. The cross was still covered with the black cloth and the few people that showed up sat in silence. I took communion and sat back in my pew, bowed my head, and prayed. I couldn't do anything but that. The service ended in silence like the night before. Even though I say it's my favorite service of the year (because it is) it's one that I only like to experience once a year. It's like watching the Passion. Sometimes you just have to see it. Sometimes it's just a reminder, sometimes it's convicting, mostly it's love though.
The thought of Christ on the cross pains me. I went to Catholic mass earlier this month and I just did not enjoying seeing Jesus on the cross everywhere I looked. I grew up with that but that's not the end folks! He died so that death wouldn't be the end... so that for all eternity we can be with our Creator. It's amazing, really.
All this to say that this past week with death looming over it was tough. I'm so glad that it end with a victory. The new week starts with the greatest defeat in history. It's pretty sweet, right? You know it.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite band's best songs! I've Always Loved You by Third Day.
I don't know how to explain it
But I know that words will hardly do
Miracles with signs and wonders
Aren't enough for me to prove to you

Don't you know I've always loved you
Even before there was time
Though you turn away
I'll tell you still
Don't you know I've always loved you
And I always will

Greater love has not a man
Than the one who gives his life to prove
That he would do anything
And that's what I'm gonna do for you

posted by Moving Forward @ 10:28 PM