Moving Forward

past hurts

Hey ya'll! Today is such a beautiful day outside. The sun has been shinning all day! My car was even kinda hot when I got in it after running some errands. Good stuff! I really do like winter a lot, but I'm ready for more sun.
So yesterday as I was driving to work I was listening to this morning show on Kiss FM. I normally listen to a book of the bible on my way, but for whatever reason my radio was on Kiss FM from the night before. They were doing a segment called "the friends zone" so I thought they'd be talking about bffs and other fun things. Stupid me, I should have known that they were talking about guy/girl friendships and how at some point feelings develop for at least one of the two. All of these people kept calling in to express the hurt that they're feeling or have felt because of a friendship with a guy or girl that they've fallen in love with. Some of these people thought the radio would be a great place for a mental break down. But it was interesting to hear all of the different stories and how they were handled. This one guy had a girl that had been his best friend for like 4 years. Over time he developed more than friendly feelings for her and things got rough. He tried to keep it to himself and even when she would date other people, he didn't care. He had it in the back of his mind that she would wake up and realize that the perfect guy was right in front of her. Well she never did because she's not a mind reader and he kept it to himself. She's now getting married and he was talking about how he can't loose her and blah, blah, blah.
It was so sad to hear all the different stories. There were so many of them too! A couple of the people said they told the other person how they felt and when the feelings weren't the same, it was hard, but they moved on and stayed bffs. Some of the time when the feelings weren't the same they lost the friendship because one or both of them were too awkward. Some of the time the two ended up together because they realized that best friends are the people you marry.
My thoughts on this were that if you have a true, real friendship with someone you won't loose them as a friend because of your honesty. But I also was thinking about all the hurt that these people were expressing. This one girl called in and said that things had gone bad with her best guy friend years ago. They're not really friends now, plus she now has a complex about getting close to guys.
So, what I want to talk about right now is past hurts. Everyone experiences things in their lives that they wish they didn't have to. Loosing a friend is one of the hardest things, especially if it's for a dumb reason. Telling someone how you feel about them and not having it reciprocated is also killer. I'm sure there are people in your past that you were great friends with, but one little thing went wrong or something happened and now you don't even talk anymore. One thing came between you and that little thing prevents any kind of friendship or relationship.
Some times these things prevent us from moving forward in that area of our lives. You've been hurt by this kind of person once, so never again will you consider something like that. This is all very vague and I know that, but I don't really have anything real specific to myself. I have a friendship that is dead. He was my best friend for a little while. The whole one liking the other came up a couple times, at different times which was the problem, but that's not why the friendship is dead because that was years before it ended.
It's so hard to give so much of yourself to one person... even when your bff is someone of the same gender because self-disclosure takes a lot of trust and if that trust has ever been broken by anyone in your life you're always gonna remember that. Forgiveness doesn't always mean something's forgotten.
I don't know. I just know that so many people have things that have happened to them in their past and they're allowing those things to hold them back, to keep them from moving forward. Don't be afraid to love even if you've been crushed because of it. Don't be afraid to be a best friend... even if you've been slighted before. Not everyone's the same. I'm not saying that you won't get hurt again because I can't control that, but I know that it's worth moving on. This is for me too, not just you. And it's not just about relationships, but about friendships too.
Things are always going to come up that remind you of a time you were hurt. Hurting is allowed, being upset is allowed, yelling is allowed. I think it's so important to work through things even if it's by yourself, but best with God. Allow Him to heal you. Trust the Father to hold you. Work it out so that you can move on.
Wow, does that not sound like I know it all or what? Well I don't (by far!), but this is a good place to remind myself. Alright, enough of the mushy stuff...
I'm having friends over tonight for a dinner/game night and I'm really excited! It's all married people plus me, so I'm like the 11th wheel, but it should still be fun! Tomorrow night I'm heading into the city to hear John and Ben play a show and I'm pretty pumped about that too. Oh! I've been playing guitar a lot more these days and I finally finished a song I started in like November! Yahoo for that. K, peace out!

posted by Moving Forward @ 4:54 PM