Moving Forward

tired

So incase you didn't pick this up from my blog last night... I'm kinda whinny this week. I've been in a bad mood most of the week and tonight it's all kinda crashing down on me. It's an attack of sorts if you know what I mean. I feel like I can do nothing. Like I can't say anything. Like the things I say and do don't matter. My heart hurts and it's tired of hurting. This isn't one thing... it's lots of things. I can't even explain it. I'm sick of feeling inadequate. I'm sick of feeling like I don't matter to people who matter so much to me. I'm sick of surface friendships and people who can't take the time to be a good friend back to me. I'm tired of carrying this.
I can't always be happy-go-lucky and smiling. Sometimes it seems as though that's what's expected 100% of the time. And normally I am happy, but tonight I'm sad. Tonight I'm alone. I've been feeling very alone lately. Even though I just got back from seeing friends over the weekend, and I talk on the phone constantly, and I'm always with my family... I still feel alone. I have plenty of friends and people I talk to and even old friends I've been seeing so often. I'm just at an ending point right now.
Even now when I'm so sad and alone, God is here. I just can't get away. He won't let me (thankfully).
I read this today:
"Let's just praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
Let's just lift our hands to heaven
And praise the Lord;
Let's just praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
Let's just lift our hands to heaven
And praise the Lord!"
-Bill and Gloria Gaither
Psalm 134:2 says, "Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord."

posted by Moving Forward @ 11:02 PM