Moving Forward

Foggy

Today as I was driving home from work, my sister called and asked me to grab something from the store, but she also called to warn me that is was "really" foggy and I needed to be careful. It was very nice of her. So as I'm getting closer to home the fog is starting to get thicker, although when you can still see about 30 yards ahead of you I don't think it's necessary to go 30mph in a 50. So my first reaction was to be annoyed because I had tons of stuff to do before youth group tonight and I still wanted to see my family too.
That attitude changed pretty quickly because as I was crawling along the streets I started to think about how mysterious fog makes things. Even the roads I drive down everyday, twice a day, started to be tricky. With the fog only revealing a little at a time, I had to pay attention to things I just blow past everyday. The lights illuminate only what needs to be illuminated by them. Somehow life in the fog is gorgeous. Christmas lights glow in a new way, streets lamps dance as I cross the railroad tracks, and headlights just appear out of nowhere. For some reason I had never thought about fog as much more than an inconvenience when trying to get from point A to point B. But really when the fog has settled and you can only see what's right in front of you, it can be beautiful.
And then I think about the mystery of my God. The mystery of faith. The mystery of the cross. Maybe sometimes we can only see what's right up ahead because that's all we need to see. We don't need reasoning from God because who are we to demand explanations? We just go. We just do. That's the mystery of faith.
But what's more is that things are sometimes clearer in the fog. There are so many things I can't understand in day to day life. These are just a few: Why I drive so far everyday, why my family doesn't love the Lord like I do, why friends do and say things they do, why I'm single, why I'm in a job where I feel inadequate and small, why I have so much and others have so little, why money rules the world when it's all going to burn someday, why my dad is disabled because of a ten pound carton, why my niece or nephew never made it to 9 months, why my friend's families aren't support of them, why my friend's friends aren't supportive of them, why God chose me to do His work in this place, and why He loved me enough to pay the ultimate price.
Those are all so unclear and so uncertain, but when I read over those few things I just know that God knows and that has to be enough. Is that always something I can stomach so easily? Absolutely not. And I struggle with it sometimes. Seeing the fog tonight made me realize that I don't have to always understand. And things don't always have to be clear. Sometimes I just need to focus on what's in front of me and know that my Father is going to take care of the rest.
I also thought about what it would be like to be surrounded by fog all the time. Kind of a drag, don't ya think? I do, because as much as I love how the world looks outside my window right now, I love the sun. I love to see the stars shinning. Heck, I love to see my destination before I'm 10 feet away from it! I think that once we get focused on our work and what God has for us the fog will clear. We still might not have explanations for things we don't understand, but it becomes clear when we don't NEED explanations. Make sense? Maybe a little.
Moving onto a quick update. Last friday I drove from my work Christmas party to just outside of Dayton, OH to sing/play guitar at a wedding saturday afternoon. I left the wedding and didn't go to the reception because the weather was bad. I drove to Indy and hung with Trental. Sunday I got on the snow covered highway and drove to Michigan where I spent the afternoon chillin before coming home. Long weekend, about 1000 miles on my car, and almost no sleep. (well, I slept about 3 hours fri night. saturday I slept really good, but only for about 6 hours.) It was a good weekend though. Really good. And ya'll know I don't mind long drives... I have my shaker egg and cds to keep me company! Anywho, my best friend Michelle gets in this week and I cannot wait to see her! I'm looking forward to a Christmas party reunion with my high school/church friends. I have the best white elephant gift to bring!
Also, in case you haven't heard, my b-day is in 11 days! Yeah, get excited! G'night!

posted by Moving Forward @ 9:21 PM