Moving Forward

So demanding!

Ever demanded something? Stomped your feet and pounded your fists because you were demanding something? Screamed, cried, begged, rationalized, and pleaded because you were demanding something? Yeah, I'm sure you have and I'm sure you were 2 years old. Well I'm 24, about to be 25 and for the last several years I've been doing some of these things... though not quite as dramatically. I've been VERY demanding. As I'm sure you know about me when I want something bad enough I work and fight to make it happen until it does. I don't take 'no' very often... or very well when I do.
Well I got my answer to something after all these years and it was a slap in the face, a kick in the butt, and a break in my heart... and to be very honest with you, I'm not handling it well. The answer came very clearly and directly from the Lord after a particularly demanding "temper tantrum". I believe it's ok to yell, maybe even scream at God sometimes, but who the heck am I to absolutely DEMAND something from my Creator? Asking for something and praying with expectancy can go hand in hand, but doesn't always. I guess this particially goes back to the desires of our hearts becoming God's desires for us and thus actually true desires... because if it's a true desire it will be what God wants for us. Make sense. Maybe I'm not explaining it the best, but I can so if you don't get it let me know.
I've recently been asked if you get the answer to prayer you get because of the way you ask. At first it was kind of silly to me, but I think I understand how one could think that. My answer is not usually, but maybe once in a while. It would make sense for one to think yes though because of the simple fact that we are so imperfect. When a child is screaming and throwing a fit the last thing I, personally want to do is reward them by giving them what they are crying for. Some give it to them just because they're acting ridiculous, but in the end it does not better the situation, only gives the child the power. Sometimes, its just so much easier to give them the candy than to hear them cry. This is all very mommy of me, but think about it. When I'm fighting, crying, and/or demanding something and it's not being given to me... a simple "no" isn't always clear because it's not what I want to hear. Selective hearing? Maybe.
BUT, kinda getting back to the point, God is (thankfully) God! He is perfect. He is not like us in that I don't think He gives in to many temper tantrums. God doesn't anger quickly like humans do. He's patient. I don't think God responds to us like we do to others. I think that just because I've been asking and rationalizing for so long it doesn't mean I'm going to get what I want. And maybe there's a reason the answer was clearly NO right now... does it mean it will always be NO to the same thing? Absolutely not. It just wasn't best for me at this time. Am I making sense? I don't know. We're not robots and we have the choice to do what we want, when we want, but as we all know that attitude does not benfit anyone, ever. Does what you want glorify God? No, then think again. Yes, then keep doing what you do until the time is right for what you want. As long as you're glorifying the Lord... keep it going. What else do you need? Nothing. You may think something will better that or even coincide with that and maybe it does, but why change things that are working? You know?
Sidebar, God does sometimes give in and I think He hates it. Lessons are much harder learned that way, aren't they? Why go through something that's not neccessary?
That's that, I suppose. This is elementary, but its also debatable. Moving on...
What's new with me? Well since I haven't really updated since August, a lot. I've been keeping pretty busy with work, family, and friends. My really good friends are finally home from Taiwan and I've been enjoying hanging out with them and that group of people. They are all very encouraging to be around. They're also so comfortable to be around... we grew up together and went to church together. Learned about the Lord together. It's been great. Um, I'm teaching again. I just got back from IN and OH where I went to yet another beautiful wedding and visited with some fun friends. A lot happens and goes on in a month and a half, but much of it is day to day stuff and chances are if you're reading this I've talked to you in that time. I'm really excited for Fall and praying that the change in seasons and weather doesn't bring on a cold like normal! :) There are a lot of fun times coming up in the next few months and I can't wait to see what the Lord has for this time in my life.
(ps The Office has started back up and the premiere was more than I hoped for!! Watch it, Thursdays, 8pm!)

"The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." ~ Lamentations 3:25-26

posted by Moving Forward @ 10:36 PM