Moving Forward

Psalms and Patience

I've got a lot in my head, but it's jumbled tonight. I'll do my best though for those that have asked for an update. PS since I just wrote last week, not much has happened.
I babysat a 9 year old all last week and it was pretty entertaining. She had so much energy, it's insane. The only day we weren't outside running around I was inside cleaning and such... anyways the week flew by. Trent came on thursday night and hung out til today which was fun, but that's all thats really been going on.
The sermon at church was awesome this morning and I think I'm gonna get it on cd. The title was "why do you believe" and he talked about seeing and believing and how we need to work towards being at a place where we believe therefore we begin to see. We need to move from believing because we see, or seeing because we believe. I'm not going to be able to do it any justice here, so I'll stop, but ask me about it some time and I'll try to tell you what I learned. Pastor Steve is just great.
After church I went and saw the movie Disturbia... overall it was a good movie. Kinda slow for the first 30 minutes, but it was super intense after that. I wouldn't say it was a scary movie though, more suspense/thriller. The kid thats in the movie got his start on the Disney Channel, but surprisingly he did a great job. I think he's gonna do well for himself.
Let's see... I just started reading a book that Trent gave me to borrow called Just Give Me Jesus by Anne Graham Lotz. I'm not very far into it, but I'm realliy liking it so far. It's about our Savior's life as recorded by the Apostle John. It takes you through eye witness accounts of His life and relates them to issues that we face today. I think the title says it all... Just Give Me Jesus. I'm excited to see what I learn from this book... especially since I've always favored John's Gospel and I just got done reading through it again.
So anyways. I started reading through the Psalms today and I planned on just reading a few, but I read through 33 of them because I just couldn't stop. See, my heart's been real heavy with lots of stuff lately and David captured a lot of what I've been thinking and he brought it full circle with his attitude of praise. It's been easy for me to sulk in my persecution and lay wounded, but that's not what the Psalms promote. I don't know. It's ok to lament, but not to wallow in it. David's words about the Lord come back to lifting Him up. And praising through the storm.
I'm frustrated right now. How do I explain without laying my whole life out for the world to read? Hmmm... well something you should know about me if you don't already is that I have a very active thought life... my mind is always swirling and racing with thoughts and ideas, and problems and solutions.
I have a desire to reach the wounded and the hurting. I'm called to work with youth. With kids who have emotional problems or behavioral problems. or with kids who "don't have any problems". I'm called to use my talents and skills to reach the youth whether it be through music, or just my ability to sit and listen and guide. I guess my communication skills may come in handy after all. :) I'm frustrated though because I'm not sure what this means for my life. I've turned down a youth pastor job already because I didn't have confirmation from the Lord, actually it was far from it. It wasn't the right time to work there in that particular church and thats fine. I've been in contact with another church, I've met with the pastor for an initial interview. since then we've been communicating by email which is not my favorite thing... I'd rather talk on the phone. But nothing seems to be moving forward. My desire is to serve the Lord in whatever way He wants. I just want to do that. I'm like a child in that way I guess. I just need to continue to be patient and continue to work and grow in my own life and relationship with God while I wait.
That's the hardest thing for me. Like, there's so many things I desire from this life, like marriage, missions, and other HUGE things, but I've just gotta wait. Patience is a challenge when you think you're ready to move forward. It's a challenge when you think you know what you want. When your desire is God's desire for you it's much easier. That is my desire.
So, this was going to be short and sweet, but oops... I'm long winded right now. :) Be blessed this week.

"I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 17:6-8

posted by Moving Forward @ 8:45 PM