Everyone's done... well almost everyone
Today was graduation at IWU and after 4 years, I wasn't able to be in the ceremony. Most of you probably know that I took a semester off and then I had mono one semester, so as you can imagine I fell pretty behind. Then I had to go and change my major after 2 years. I've done this to myself and I know that, but it's still really hard. I love my friends and I'm so happy for them (and jealous), but it's been hard for me. Not only are the people that I've been around everyday for 4 years moving on, chances are I won't see them as much as we say we will. All of us girls have a wedding this summer, but after that, who knows? I'm blessed that one of my roommates and best friend got a job in Marion and she is staying. We got an apartment together and move in on tuesday. Knowing that she is going to be there is the only thing that is getting me through this.My roommate was cool and gave me one of her tickets for graduation (she has an immediate family of 8 so its a big deal because they only give you 5 and then she got more from other people).
Anyway, sitting in the ceremony was a mix of emotions. I was sitting there watching my friends recieve the diplomas and I was excited for them because I know I'd love to be done. All of their families were sitting there so proud of their kid's accomplishments. I can't help but wonder if I have dissappointed people because I couldn't do it in 4 years like my classmates. I know for sure that my parents are 100% proud that I'm in college and that I'm going to (eventually) graduate, but there is that little cloud hanging over me and I can't help but be dissappointed in myself. I know that tons of people go for 5 years these days, but that fact doesn't make it easier. I should have done it in 4 years. I would be done with college and moving on with my life.
I say that knowing that it was a darn good thing I was at home the semester I was off because I had to have emergency surgery and then two weeks later my grandpa died. There's no way I would have dealt well if I was at school.
All that to say that I'm proud of my friends and so happy for them, but totally bummed for myself. I'm allowed to have a pity party for a day or two, right? I think so. I'm gonna be relaxing in Illinois until May 3, then we're moving into our apartment and I'm taking May classes so that I can graduate in a year.
posted by Moving Forward @ 9:17 PM
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