Only a month...
Its the time in the semester when every one of my professors thinks its a good idea to add more work to the syllabus. This makes me want to pull my hair out because up until this point it's been a fairly light work load. I know that taking 400 level classes this is what I should be expecting, but all I really want is to have fun with my friends before they graduate. I want to be done with work and the stress of class. And unlike most people I know, I'm going to be here for May term too. I'm not the first person on earth to be a 5th year, but at this point I have no desire to do any work or go to any classes.A thought has been looming over me for the last few days and I'm starting to believe it. I think that I'm actually getting less intellegent (dumber if you will). Now, you would think this is impossible, but I would have to disagree. One of the classes I'm in right now is really frustrating because I'm not learning anything of importance to my life or my field of choice. I can't seem to retain any of the stuff I read or study for. I failed the midterm simply because I couldn't remember the stuff. Granted, I didn't study for very long. But what confuses me is that I never use to have to study very hard for anything because I just retained stuff from class and did fine. Now its like I don't know how to study because I've never really had to. High school was a breeze and I was on Honor Roll... I even did pretty well on my ACT, so you would think that I could make it through college with at least A's and B's. But the truth is, I'm struggling to keep B's.
Its overwhelming to think that way, knowing how much stuff I have to learn and get done before the semester commences. Most semesters bring me to the overwhelmed state, but this semester is just crappy because I shouldn't feel dumber after my 4th year of college. It's craziness, I know.
On a different note... it's spring which means that everyone on the IWU campus is twiterpating(sp?). I've come to the realization that apparently IWU isn't the place for me to find my husband. God is perfect and He knows whats in store for me, but its hard being patient sometimes. The last guy I dated wasn't a Christian and while I have no regrets about him I do regret the time I took away from God and all He has to offer me.
I keep going back and forth on this issue because some days I'm glad I'm not tied down because I really want to travel after I graduate and unless some great guy has the same plan, I'll be flying solo, which might be really nice. But then I think it could be lonely. I also sometimes think that it'd be great to be in a relationship right now and to be loved and have a plan. Everyone is planning a wedding, or so it seems. I'd love to plan a wedding and start a family right away. I'm so torn and indecisive because either would be good times, but each day I seem to choose one and think that it'd be better than the other. We'll see what's in store for me, but if you know any cool guys that want to travel in a year or so, let me know! I'm all about it!
That's all folks! :o)
posted by Moving Forward @ 8:23 PM
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