How He Loves
by David Crowder Band
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
FYI
Yeah... I don't really post on this one anymore. BUT if something happens and heading back to Uganda falls through I'll probably be posting on here again.
Two Are Better
"I'll cry when you want to but can't.
I'll pray when your hands are too heavy to lift.
I'll hold you up when your body fails you.
I'll love you when you just can't...
Because I'm yours and you are mine
This fight isn't just yours to fight
I'm yours and you are mine
Two lives, two hearts, two souls unite
I'll be strong when you just feel weak.
I'll carry you when the burdens too much.
I'll build you up when your world comes crashing down
I'll love you when you just can't...
Because I'm yours and you are mine
This fight isn't just yours to fight
I'm yours and you are mine
Two lives, two hearts, two souls unite
//Two are better than one
When you fall I'll pick you up//"
Beautiful Love and New Orleans!
Today I took my dad to a doctor's appointment because he was hurting too bad to drive and I love chatting with him anyways. Well when we got there I decided to wait in the car because I wanted to read my book as long as I had time and it was nice and warm out. I was parked in the space next to the handicapped spot and of course my windows were down. As I was sitting there reading, a big 'ol truck pulled in next to me. It was an old man and his wife. He got out and came around, he opened her door and the back door. He pulled out a step stool and a walker and then stood there ever so patiently, with his hand in hers as she painfully got down out of the truck. Her head appeared to be bald, but some hair was starting to grow back. She was clearly a chemo patient. She also had a large brace on under her pants, but over her shirt, like maybe she was healing from a broken hip or something. With every step she winced in deep pain. She moved ever so slowly up the sidewalk towards the building. Without any regard the man took the woman's purse from her to make her load a little bit lighter and easier. He never walked ahead of her, but either next to her or right behind her in support. He loved her with all of his being, you could just tell by his actions. They didn't say much, at least not much that I could hear (I'm such a deafo), but they didn't need to say anything. They had clearly been together all their lives and the only thing they were focused on was keeping it that way. It was the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. I'm confident that the man wished he could take her place. Even though I'm sure he had a bit of a heavy heart, he would never show it. He was probably physically tired himself, but that didn't matter to him. All that mattered was caring for the woman he loved more than life itself.
That's all kinda sappy I know, but it was so uplifting to see that in a world that tells us to take care of ourselves first, this man was clearly all about taking care of his wife first. This is definitely the way we are called to live. There are some verse from Philippians 2 at the end of this post. I encourage you to read them.
Now, an update...
This is what my life has looked like for the past couple of weeks: We left for New Orleans on Sat, June 28th. Got to Memphis and stayed in a beautiful UM church for the night. We left Sunday after worship and got to New Orleans for registration. After stepping out of the van I was promptly greeted by a TEAMeffort staff person named Jon. I went and registered my group while everyone else unloaded the vans, and thus our week began. We were given our work-site assignments and our TEAMeffort staff. My crew was very blessed to be able to work with Jon and Patrick all week. Both of these men are absolutely hysterical and amazing. I worked with Patrick mostly during the day, but got to know Jon a little better during our free time and evenings back at the church we were staying at. The guys are at the perfect age to really click with youth... mainly because they were 18 and 20. It was great though because no matter how crazy they got or how many silly things they did and said, at the end of the day it was clear that they were living for God. It was just great for my kids to see that I could act stupid and crazy (as I normally do) with these people and still remain focused on the purpose of the trip. TEAMeffort does a really good job of bringing the Word to the kids at chapel each evening. They get to see the boys run around and be crazy, but then lead worship, praise God, and learn more about God from each other.
I'm excited to say that we have a new sister in Christ and I'm really pumped to watch her grow in her new life. Praise God! We got to hang with Jon and Patrick in the city on the 4th of July. Jon did a great job of showing us around the French Quarter and picking yummy places to eat. One of the best parts of my day was meeting up with Trent and his senior high kids. Their trip to Houma was over so came up to New Orleans for the 4th. We got to hang in the French Quarter and they basically spent the day exploring with us. They spent the night at our church Friday night before heading home. What a cool thing to have our youth together for a little while! It was nice relaxer to have Trent there, even for a short time.
It was so difficult for the kids and I to leave on Saturday. They really bonded well with Jon Boy... it was rough. He was amazing with them. One of my boys really needed another male figure around and he and Jon connected really well. I'm hoping that they're able to stay in touch. On the last night I stayed up til the early morning hours talking with Jon and Ed... I learned way too much about both of them, but I'm so glad I did. Anypoo, we got up and left Saturday morning and got to Memphis pretty early. The youth pastor there had dinner ready for us and we even hung out with some of his kids. Sunday we got up, they made us breakfast, we worshipped with them, and then we got on the road. The last 3 nights of the trip I got a combined 8 hours of sleep, so needless to say when we got home Sunday night I was exhausted. It was worth it though... and really I had planned on not sleeping much more than that anyways. I love late night chats.
So all in all the trip was a huge success! I had no behavior issues, no one got really hurt or sick, and people sought the Lord fervently. They were an awesome group of kids and I can't believe how little drama there really was. When I went on mission trips in high school there was always an injury or some boy-girl drama that consumed everyone. Not this time. You would never have known that we had two girls from another church with us. The group bonded so well... it was fabulous. It gave me a chance to just hang out and be one of the youth. Which is what I really wanted. I did not want to have to babysit all week. I got to play hours (and HOURS) of 4 square, chat, play cards, and just hang out with my youth. Let's be real... I'm about as mature as a high schooler sometimes, so this job is right up my alley. :)
Moving on... I can't believe July is here! It's insane to think that I'm leaving soon. I've had a couple of rough moments involving Uganda, but as of right now, this very moment, I'm still going. Please, please be praying for this trip. Some things have changed and I may have to tweak some stuff, but I'm working on it! Can I just say that the Lord is so amazing?! Because He is. It's not always easy for me to say that, but right now it is. He's so sovereign.
Something really cool... my mom went to my church this past Sunday! I wasn't even home from New Orleans yet, but she went! She and my dad finally came a couple of weeks ago to hear me speak... they had never been to my church... I've been working there over a year. They haven't been to church at all for like 13 years and when they were going to church it was very much just a routine thing they were in. (I grew up in the Catholic Church.) But she went to worship by herself! I would love it if you all would be praying for her. I think my decision to go to Uganda is really affecting her and she is trying to understand why I would do something like this. Pray that she continues to go to church while I'm in Africa and that she allows God to come into her life! Thanks!
Other exciting news, this weekend I'm going to a wedding for two of my favorite people ever! Rob and Katie are getting married and I can't wait to join them on their special day! It's going to be beautiful! Next weekend my college homies are coming to stay with me, and then the next weekend is my going away party. Busy, busy, busy, but I'm stoked to see all my favorite people in a just a few weeks time. I'm also trying to figure out the easiest way to get a house full of stuff into my parent's basement without having to rent a truck. I'm hoping my cousins will just bring their trucks and help me get my stuff moved outta here. I'm not a fan of moving... at all! Yikes. It's okay though and it'll be really awesome in the end.
Well I've still got to play some guitar/sing, and read before bed, so peace ya'll!
Philippians 2:3-11 (NLT)
3Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
6 Though he was God,[a]
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b];
he took the humble position of a slave[c]
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,[d]
8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.
9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Pursuing Holiness
Time flies when life is insane, let me tell ya! Well incase you've been living under a rock for the past 6 weeks... or I haven't talked to you... I'm moving to Kampala, Uganda the first of August. I'll be gone for at least a year. This is an amazing opportunity and the reason I haven't written since finding out I'm for sure going is that I've been scared. Once it's out there and everyone knows it seems like there's no turning back. Why would I want to turn back? Good question. Especially since it is so obvious that this is where God wants me right now. The story of how this all came to be is amazing and I attribute it all to the Lord. It is only by His provision that I'm able to go. I shouldn't even have been accepted, but I was. So, yahoo God!
Getting back to why would I want to turn back? Well I have lots of reasons. None of them are awesome, but they still mean a lot to me in my life. I don't want to get into to too much detail here, but I'm mainly afraid of losing people. A year is a long time to not have great contact with people and I'm scared that my relationships are all going to change. Rubbish, you say? We'll see I guess. I had a bit of an eye opening experience recently and it made me freak out just a little. A lot happens in a year. Things change, people change. I'm just so glad that God doesn't. That's all I've got. And that should be enough.
I get the feeling from some people that they are not very happy that I'm leaving. They either don't say much about it at all or quickly change the subject when I say something about. I understand that some people use ignorance as a coping mechanism... but this is real to me. This is really hard for me. I need people to be supportive... and even if they're not happy I'd like to know I can count on them. Some people just aren't good at expressing emotion and that's ok. Some people have been too good at expressing emotion. And that's ok, unless you make me cry, then... not cool! :) I don't want this to be more dramatic than it already is. I know life will go on here without me... I just need to know that the people I love the most won't leave me behind.
My sister is good at making me sad to leave. All it take is Kayla telling me I can't go anywhere or even her singing to me to make me sad. She got made at me because Liz told her I would be missing her birthday this year. That was hard. I wish she could understand, but someday she will. Maybe someday she'll see what an awesome experience I had and she'll want to go preach the gospel to the lost. Let's start praying now, k?
Moving onto an update before I write about what I've been wanting to write about for like a month now. So other than me deciding to move... um well I worked at the bookstore for about 3 weeks just to help them out, plus I needed the money. For Memorial day I got to hang with my bff for a few days which was awesome. Yay for going to the zoo and feeding the giraffes! When I got back from her house I went down to Trent's... he was moving, his parents were in town, and I wanted to go to jr high youth group. From there I came home so I could do the Saturday service at church... I didn't have a huge sermon to give because it was a "first" sunday. It went well... seeing as though I've never led an entire service by myself before. The next couple weeks I worked at the store, taught VBS for the jr high at my church, and didn't sleep much. Then last saturday I went down to Trent's to get ready to leave for the jr high mission trip with his church to Chattanooga, TN. We left Sunday and got back Friday night. I came back here Saturday evening so I could be here for church on Sunday morning to talk about my calling to Africa.
The mission trip to Chattanooga was pretty sweet. It was a great time getting to know some of the jr high kids better, getting to meet other kids from other churches, getting to work with the locals (some of the cutest kids ever!), getting to know a NH leader better, and getting to draw nearer to God through the blessing of others. I've been on lots of mission trips similar to the way this trip was formatted. It's much like an ASP trip, for those WS folks, except went through YouthWorks. All in all the YW staff was pretty cool... just a few little things that I didn't care for too much. Our church really bonded well with the other churches there. There's a girl I met on the trip from Texas. She's absolutely amazing. We've actually already been in contact since the trip through texting. She's really seeking Jesus right now so I'm trying my best to keep up with her. Be praying for her if you think about it. So much went on for me personally while in TN that I don't want take the time to write it all down. I spent a lot of time in prayer and in the word trying to discern some stuff and it was good. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I don't have to have it all figured out right now.
Now onto the whole point of this blog tonight. There's something I've been struggling to understand lately and that is people who read the scriptures, teach the scriptures, and/or talk about the scriptures, but don't live what they're preaching. I have people who will tell me they are studying a certain book in the bible. They say how they're getting a lot out of it and learning new things. That's so great and I'm so glad to hear things like that. My beef is when people say that they're reading something or learning about someone and they don't follow through by letting their actions show that they're grasping things. Now, obviously I'm not perfect and I do it too sometimes. I let things slip or I am quick to anger and judge, or I have a bad attitude some days... we all do. It just makes me sad when I see someone really studying something, telling people about it and then a month later doing exactly what they learned not to do. If you are talking/learning about focusing and not letting earthly things and relationships distract you then don't waste your time flirting with someone or focusing on a new relationship, or focusing on worldly possessions. Those things will get you no where. You know? I just think it's time for some accountability in leadership, in relationships, and in friendships. We are supposed to be pursuing holiness. Holiness... I think it means to be wholly dedicated and devoted to God, distinct and separate from the world's way of living, committed to right living and purity. Holiness is the absence of sin, evil, and wrongdoing. It is being spotlessly free from blemish. I think it's the presence of righteousness, purity, and godliness. When we accept Jesus, God makes us holy by forgiving our sins. He looks at us as though we had never sinned. BUT when He sees us as holy, we have not perfected our holiness. We must strive daily to be more like Jesus, to be more holy.
1 Peter 1:13-16 says:
"So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy."
That's a huge deal! It's not an easy thing at all. But just because something isn't easy doesn't mean that it's difficulty can be an excuse for us. Make any sense? If something is hard, than we've got to work that much harder, yeah? I really think so.
I guess my challenge is for you to really dive deep into the Word of God. And really pursue holiness. Really do what you say you're going to. Really work hard to make Jesus Christ the center of your life. AND stop letting things like friends and family distract you from doing it. That's my prayer this week.
I'm leaving for my mission trip to New Orleans with my youth this saturday. Please keep us in your prayers. Also, Trent's sr. high is leaving for New Orleans real early Sunday morning, so you can be praying for that too. Peace ya'll!
