Moving Forward

please be kind

I love Christmas time. My Christmas was great and this week has been nothing but goodtimes. I'm still really looking forward to my b-day tomorrow and new years eve. We're gonna have so much fun!
So not too much has really gone on. I've been hanging out with friends. I went on a date with this guy, Gene. I've been spending a ton of time with my family and just relaxin. I simply cannot wait until they are up here for good.
I gave my dad a copy of the song I wrote and recorded for him and he loved it. I even designed the cd cover... my P.R. skills finally came in handy for something! My cousins, aunts, and uncles all cried like little girls... it was so cute. (I'm not gonna put the song up on here like everyone else who has recorded a song. Chances are if we're good friends you've heard it already and if not I'll let you hear it when I see you.)
I've been spending a good amount of time up at my church and I've found out some super exciting news that I can't quite put on here just yet, but you can be praying our church and some positive changes that may be coming soon.
I'm about to make myself more vulnerable then I like... please be kind!
So... in my last blog entry I talked about being settled and being pressured to be settled and I wanted to come back to that real quick. I have been in prayer about that whole issue for a really long time now and I've never got much of a response. It's been real easy for me to be angry with the Lord because I'm like a whiny kid who just wants something right NOW. But I don't think I've been approaching the situation as I should have been. See, God promises to give us the desires of our hearts. That's made clear, that's absolute. (desires of the heart aren't just wants, by the way. I can explain the difference to you, just ask...or even better pick up your bible and see what the Lord says) So if the desire of my heart is to be settled then I'm gonna be settled. BUT I have other desires of the heart and they don't coincide with being settled just yet. So all this time I've spent feeling sorry for myself or trying to make stuff happen has been wasted. God has PROMISED me the desires of my heart. Who am I to be so impatient and demanding?
I hate coming to conlusions like this because for one thing I feel sheepish for acting a fool, and another, I don't like to just give up on things. If you know me at all you know I'm super persistent; it's both a good and a bad thing. Anyways this doesn't have much of a point other than to say that I feel a little more free than I have in a long time. The pressure is slowly coming off and I'm hoping that soon I'll be able to just live without feeling like I have to make something happen.
I should be enjoying where I'm at in life and enjoying my friends and not putting any pressure on myself or anyone else for that matter. Psalm 37 is beautiful and I reccommend reading it. Actually I'll put it here for you.

Psalm 37, a psalm od David
1 Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.

9 For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.

11 But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy great peace.

12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;

13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.

15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;

17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.

18 The days of the blameless are known to the LORD,
and their inheritance will endure forever.

19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

20 But the wicked will perish:
The LORD's enemies will be like the beauty of the fields,
they will vanish—vanish like smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
but the righteous give generously;

22 those the LORD blesses will inherit the land,
but those he curses will be cut off.

23 If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;

24 though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.

26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be blessed.

27 Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.

28 For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.
They will be protected forever,
but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;

29 the righteous will inherit the land
and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom,
and his tongue speaks what is just.

31 The law of his God is in his heart;
his feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
seeking their very lives;

33 but the LORD will not leave them in their power
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Wait for the LORD
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
flourishing like a green tree in its native soil,

36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
though I looked for him, he could not be found.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
there is a future for the man of peace.

38 But all sinners will be destroyed;
the future of the wicked will be cut off.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

40 The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.

So anways, that's that I suppose.
In other news... Liz (my sis) is having another girl. We just found out yesterday. We were all hoping for a boy, but baby girl is healthy and that's all we can ask for since Kayla had so many complications. They're thinking about naming her Alexandria and calling her Alex. She's gonna be so beautiful.
Kayla is just like me... and she had to get ear tubes put in this morning. We have the same ENT so when I went with to the doctor he checked my ears for me for free, which was awesome. Good news... I've been ear infection free for almost a year and I don't even have tubes anymore! That's exciting. :)
TMI, I'm sure. Well I hope you all have a happy new year! Make good choices on New Years eve!

posted by Moving Forward @ 10:32 AM 0 Comments

AZ, IL, IN, OH, and back to IN!!

How ya'll doing? It's been a while since I've talked about my life so here ya go...
I was in AZ over Thanksgiving. I helped my parents move into their new house. It was a good time, minus the whole muscles killing me thing. My brother, Vinny and I got to go to an NFL game which was exciting!
When I got back from that I stayed up in IL through Dec. 4th or so.
Since I've been back here I've been working and keeping pretty busy. This past weekend I went to Trent's place in Ohio and hung out. I just got back from that on Monday night. For his b-day I got him concert tickets for Bill Gaither, so saturday we did that and some Christmas shopping up in Columbus. It was good times. I got to meet his family and a few friends too. His niece's are so freaking cute.
So now I"m back to work and life in Indiana. Everything is good these days. I'm really looking forward to my parents coming up this year for Christmas! AND Michelle (bff who I haven't seen since June) will be in town, so it'll be awesome to see her and hang out with other high school friends. John and Ashley will be in town. It's bound to be fun! Then for my B-DAY I'm having some fun VIPs come in to hang out and go out for dinner. New Years Eve whoever comes for my b-day will be staying and coming downtown. I'm excited. I've never done anything really cool on New Years and since I'm not a partier I don't like to go to huge parties where everyone is drunk, so fireworks at Navy Pier will be cool.
So anways that's what's been going on with me for the past month or so. Life is good. It's moving quickly, but I think I'm content. I have a job possibilty at a church in Illinois. We'll see how that goes. I've still been looking for jobs and praying hard-core about where I can best be used. I'm looking forward to knowing that sometime. It's so easy to get in a rut and be complacent about things, but I just gotta keep moving forward.
I see lots of people around me who are settled in with families and jobs and are set in their lives. Somedays I think that is the best place you can be, BUT somedays I have no interest in that at all. I could see myself moving somewhere just to move and learn another culture. I don't want to feel like I have to settle like everyone else. I want to be adventurous and have fun and do it all for the glory of God. It's hard to always want that though... you know? Especially when some of the most important people in my life are only encouraging me to be settled. I'm not like my sister with one kid and one on the way. Or my cousins who all have families of their own. I'm not even like my brother who is just working to live. I don't want to work to live. I want to work to make a difference in other people's lives. (Cliche? Maybe a little.) Maybe that means sharing that with someone else and maybe it means moving to a remote city in Mexico by myself. I'd like to think I can do anything I want with whoever I want or don't want.
This is coming out all anti-family and like I don't want to settle ever, but that's not what I mean at all. I could get married and do the same things. I just like the thought of options and going where ever the Lord leads me. I've been the kind of person who lives my life for others for so long that this seems foriegn for me, I know. I'm so scatterbrained and back and forth a lot too. Maybe tomorrow I'll be okay with moving back to IL and living with my family for a while. Maybe tomorrow I'll know what I'm to do with the rest of my life. You can't live on a maybe though. Everyday you live for yourself, is one less day you live for the Lord. If I'm not living everyday for the glory of the Lord, what am I living for?
This was definitely not the direction I thought this blog was going today, but you'll have that I suppose. There's always a lot going on in my head and this is what's on my mind today.

a little P.S. my high school is going though a rough time right now. A couple of very influential teachers and coaches have passed on just in the last few months. please by praying for them and the school.

posted by Moving Forward @ 2:09 PM 0 Comments