Moving Forward

Famous Faith

This past week I was informed that my favorite and most influential professor's contract wasn't being renewed after this spring. It hit me hard because this man has made a greater impact on me than any other prof at IWU. If you know me from back in the day he's the college version of Mr. Rim.
I'm obviously not going to be here when he's not welcomed back because I'm leaving, but just the thought of IWU giving up on such an amazing man of God really ticked me off. My first reaction was anger, of course. My prof was calm and he tried explaining how he felt about it and such, but all I could see was red. How could they be letting this awesome guy go? Especially since he has a family with 6 kids to support?! Then he started talking about the Lord moving in his life and how he knows that he's going to be alright. He just has the faith to be like, "oh well, I just lost my job, but I'm going to be fine". I would be furious and in panic mode if I were him. His first reaction was to turn to God... my first reaction was anger. I thought of a thousand reasons more to dispise this place I've called home for 5 years.
It took about two hours for me to start to see the situation in a different light. This speaks more loudly than anything to me. Why was my first reaction anger, besides the obvious answer that I'm human? I thought to myself about how this reflects me and my character and my trust in God. What is something everyone on earth needs more of? Faith. We're all subjects of the fall which means we're sinners by nature. What if we were faithful by God as much as we say we are sinners by nature? What then?
I wanna be like these people described here...
Hebrews 11 (NIV)
1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 2This is what the ancients were commended for.
3By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 4By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.
5By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. 6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
7By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.
8By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
11By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. 12And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.
13All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. 14People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
17By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, 18even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned." 19Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.
20By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.
21By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.
22By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones.
23By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict.
24By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. 25He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. 26He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 27By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. 28By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.
29By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.
30By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days.
31By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.
32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. 36Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. 37They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.
39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

posted by Moving Forward @ 1:19 PM 1 Comments

Little things

I've been reading the book Messy Spirituality for almost 6 months. It's a really short book and a fast read, but I haven't been in the reading mood at all. Well I finally finished it last night and today I find myself wanting to pick it up and read it again. Michael Yaconelli does such a good job of reminding his readers that God shines in our imperfections. That being spiritual doesn't mean being on top of the game every minute of everyday. His words are encouraging, especially to this doubting thomas. I've plugged this book before so I don't need to say much more than that.
Things are picking up a bit for me which is nice. I have a ton of stuff to do this semester and now I'm glad I only have one class a day.
Leah and Holly came down to visit this past weekend which was awesome. For those of you that don't know, they are two of my most favorites people ever. They were my roommates for 4 years and I love them. Leah got married in August, so I don't get to see her much at all anymore, so it was cool.
Sad story... on Saturday the four of us went to a used book store and they happened to sell puzzles. I love doing puzzles and my roommate enjoys them as well so we bought one. On Sunday we spent 12 hours doing the puzzle. We completed it, but the only time we took a break was a 30 minute Walmart run. We even ate dinner at the puzzle table. The time flew by. It was crazy. I felt like I was 70 years old or something, but it was a nice change from watching tv all day.
In other news... I've been getting a ton of info on Italy lately and talking with the tour company I would like to work for so it's getting me excited about that still being a possibility. I'm still in the dark about some stuff (if you know what I mean), so I'm still keeping my options open. Things are good in that area, by the way. Anyway, my mom called me yesterday to tell me about a job in Arizona that I'm going to be eligible for once I have my degree and it starts at $70,000 a year. I guess I picked the right profession, although it's not really what I want to do anymore. My mommy misses me though, and she is trying her best to get me to come live there. I'd rather not, but we'll see where life takes me in the next year.
Just a little reminder/word of encouragement... God is still in the business of answering prayers. God grants us the desires of our hearts. Pray with expectation and remember that God knows our hearts, so trying to fool Him is simply foolish.
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:5-7

posted by Moving Forward @ 1:55 PM 0 Comments

Nothing really...

It's been a bit since I've posted, but to be honest not too much is new and exciting in my life right now. I'm really glad to be back in Indiana, but I'm finding myself bored quite a bit. I only have 3 classes and my senior project, so my days are spent napping to pass time. I think I need to take advantage of this time because when else in my life am I going to have nothing to do? Graduation looms. Some days it seems so close, but most days it seems like it's never going to come.
Still the question os what I'm doing after graduation is up in the air. I have so many possibilities... I don't want to make the wrong choice, but then I'm reminded that God is next to me no matter where I'm at.
I decided to go home to Naperville this past weekend due to the fact that Marion is lame on the weekends when all your friends are gone. I had a really good time with my sister and I got to spend time with Carley, one of my dearest friends from back in the day. It's always encouraging to be around her. Her faith is so strong and she's such a rock (even though she doesn't see that). She is so faithful as a friend and is amazing at holding me accountable in all aspects of my life. We don't see each other too often, but when we do it's as though no time has past (in one sense at least) and I can't do anything, but thank God for the type of friends I've been given. We've (me, stace, michelle, and carley) have been through everything together and it's amazing to see where we've come from and where we're headed. Man, I sound like I'm 80 or something. Enough of that!
I just purchased the book "Searching for God Knows What" and I'm really looking forward to starting it. Donald Miller has a way of grabbing you and making you identify with him because he's so honest about his walk with the Lord. His honesty and vulnerability is encouraging.
Anyway, I've been reaqainting myself with my guitar since I've been back and I'm loving it. I talk about this all the time... how I go through dry spells and then all I want to do is play. I love these times when all I want to do is play. There's so much freedom in playing guitar... at least for me. I've really been missing people a ton lately. Friends from here and friends from home. Guitar is an amazing way to take away from that.
Man, I feel like I sound like Debbie Downer these days. I'm doing really well though, I just get bored easily. There's a lot of thinking going on. BUT life is good and I'm working on moving forward! (I know you probably just rolled your eyes... I did too!) :o)

posted by Moving Forward @ 11:36 PM 0 Comments

changes are a comin'

In a year life will be completely different... this is as a result of decisions I've made leading up to this point in my life. I'm ready for a change though. Ready to bust out of my shell if you will. It seems like I've been stuck in the same rut for over three years now and no matter what I do to get out of it, I always seem to slip back in. Right now the only logical thing seems to be to get away from what I know and I'm comfortable with. Maybe this means just up and going to Italy, maybe it means severing some relationships, maybe it means strengthening some relationships. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I feel like I have to find one and fast. Like I was talking about a while ago... I'm coming to a new season in my life and while I still have 4 months to revel in it, 4 months isn't very long. I'm tired of settling and living my life for others. For once I feel like I'm not being selfish when I think about living my life for me. This doesn't mean without God... at all.
I say all this now knowing that things could change in a hurry and I'm ready for that, but I can't expect that. I need to start planning my life for me. Where ever I go God will be with me and I can be used for Him and this is what I need to rest in. I see my friends moving on with their lives, getting married, moving across the country, and really being able to step forward and I really want to be able to do that.
I was talking to a friend tonight about a conversation we had about 8 months ago and I'm still in the same spot that I was in then. She's moved forward. It's ironic to me that the title of my blog is 'moving forward', but that's the one thing I can't seem to do very well right now.
It's okay to get stuck and be in a rut, but there has to be some way out eventually. When will my out come? Part of the problem is relying on others more than God and I'm totally aware of this. I just do the same thing over and over... start the same crap over and over... and frankly... I'm over it! You know? Maybe it means I need to be more guarded and less of an open book (an open book like I am right now as I write this). Everyone thinks it's such a bad thing to keep to yourself and it can be, but I think I need to learn more discretion.
Now, I realize that some people are going to take this as a direct effect from recent events and I want you to know that it has nothing to do with you. Just stuff I've been thinking about for a while and I've finally come to a decision. I may work a million hours a week, but it's so brainless that I have tons of time to think, so while I've been nothing but busy over this break, I've also had nothing but time.
So much change is occurring and will continue to occur for the next few years and I really need to be preparing for it. This is my way of preparing for it I guess.
My prayer right now is this:

oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now
there were times when I was crying
from the dark of daniel's den
and i have asked you once or twice
if you would part the sea again
but tonight i do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
just wanna know you're gonna hold me if i start to cry
oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now

oh, great god, be close enough to feel you now
there have been moments when i could not
face goliath on my own
and how could i forget we've marched around
our share of jerichos
but i will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
just wanna know that everything will be alright
oh great god, be close enough to feel you now

all praise and all honor be
to the god of ancient mysteries
whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
but tonight my heart is heavy
and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer
"are you there?"

and i know you could leave writing on the wall
thats just for me
or send wisdom while i'm sleeping,
like in soloman's sweet dreams
but i don't need the strength of samson
or a chariot in the end
just want to know that you still know how many hairs
are on my head
oh great god, be small enough to hear me now

"Small Enough" by Nicole Nordemon. I've always loved this song and it's fitting right now. Incas you hadn't noticed I'm all about the songs these days. Music rocks my face off... and I definitely am regretting not bring my guitar home for break. Oh well, we'll be reunited real soon.

posted by Moving Forward @ 10:11 PM 0 Comments

Welcome to 2006

Happy new year folks! My new years eve was fun, but you can ask me about the details later. My birthday was very low key for the first time ever. It was weird for me because I'm used to it being a big deal, but I guess when you turn 23 people don't get too excited for you. I got calls from a few amazing people and one unexpected call that made my day (oh I think you know), but other than that it was kinda dull. A lot of people forgot which is strange, but I'm just a freak about remembering people's birthdays.
Not too much else is new. I'm still working 60-70 hours a week which means I'll pay off my computer and still have some money which will be nice because I'm POOR these days. Call my crazy, but I'm looking forward to heading back to school because I just like being able to chill in my own house. I never realized how much I would like having my own apartment. I love having a place to call my own and being able to do what I want when I want. Don't get me wrong... when I'm home I don't have curfew or anything crazy like that, but I think it's respectful to let my parents know where I'm going to be, you know?
I just found out that one of my really good friends is pregnant which is super exciting! Other then that life is calm right now. I hope you all are doing well and having a good break. Later!

posted by Moving Forward @ 10:28 PM 1 Comments