bad week or pure joy?
Tuesday was an interesting day to say the least. It started off really well. I finished all of my internship junk and went down to Indy to check out Steph's new place, but it was downhill from there. I injured myself pretty badly and had to make a trip to the ER, which is like my least favorite place. I've spent way too much time in hospitals in my lifetime. After I got hurt, I was informed that my best friend was in a car accident at about the same time that I got hurt. She's fine, but her car isn't. It's a bad week for all of this to be happening, not that there is ever a good time to be hurt. I have a lot I need to do before my parents get here Friday, but because it hurts to move, everything is going to be ten times harder. I want their visit to be really special so I'm going to the store to buy all the stuff they like and I really want the place to be spotless. They won't care if my bed isn't made, but I will. I want them to know how good I'm really doing on my own. Being hurt makes it hard to do anything. BUT God is good and His hand has been in everything that's been happening. I could be in a worse position and my friend could have gotten really hurt, but He protected us. It's great to have a God that is faithful even when I'm wrapped up in myself. Again, this is nothing new, just something I love being reminded of. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 It is pure joy. Thrive in it.
A plethera of thoughts
My house is finally empty. Not that I don't like having people over because I do... I can't wait for my parents to come Friday, but it's nice to finally have my place to myself. I've been having fun though. People are finally coming back to Marion and it's great to see everyone. Friendships stay the same for the most part, some grow deeper. I love it when friendships grow deeper. These are good days. I feel like my summer has just begun, yet classes start up in a week. I got my internship all set up, so now I feel like I can breathe. This is going to be a good week. God is good. He's moving.
What's this all about?
I've been hopping from blog to blog lately simply because I'm bored out of my mind and I've learned a lot about my friends, their friends, and my acquaintances. It's really an interesting thing. Some people are very philosophical and are writing to make you think and to discern everything they are thinking. Some people just write to be funny and to get their friends to comment, which is always great. There are some people who use their blog as a journal and reveal way too much about themselves. I would say I'm in between these three. Most of my entries are me writing about my day or some new discovery I've made, but in some I have tried to be very intellegent sounding (not many). It's like you decide from day to day who your audience is going to be. If I write something about my day, week, vacation, or whatever it's to give you an update on my life because I'm horrible at making phone calls and emailing. I pretty much know who is going to be reading my blog and who may leave me a comment. If I write something that is a bit more serious, chances are it's something I've been thinking about and it may even have a deep meaning to me. A blog is a way to reveal yourself in a way that you may not otherwise be able to. On the other hand you can be very secretive and not allow others to really know what's going on in your head. These blogs are a tricky thing. Very tricky. To some I'm just a goofy, fun-loving girl, but to others I'm serious and mysterious. How can you really know a person just be reading their daily musings? I don't know if you can. This is one of those times where complete randomness has taken over. Maybe I've been mulling over something that is too personal to write and I haven't figured out how to put it into words without revealing all. Or maybe I just didn't have anything new to write about so I decided to write about the obvious. Wouldn't you just love to know?
Imperfection (God's love of it)
Florida was amazing! I got to go to the beach and I'm proud to say that for the first time since I was really young, I've allowed myself to get a tan. (I don't really like being tan because I'm already dark. Those of you who know me well understand my way of thinking.) The best part was getting to spend 5 days with one of the best friends I will ever have. I've known Stacy since middle school and it's because of her and a few other amazing girls that I was introduced to the Lord. She is an amazing woman and I love our friendship! I also got to see Jason which was a fun time, even though we got soaked. Almost every afternoon in Florida there is a thuderstorm, but we decided to not let it bother us. :o) AND I caught my own sand dollars! Yeah, so I hadn't been an east coast beach in like 10 years. I was like a child playing in the waves and then on the gulf side we hunted for shells and the like. Good times.Without getting too personal, as most of you know I've been in a funk for almost 2 years and it's totally been weighing me down. Well Stace gave me this book called Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli. I'm only a chapter and a half into it, but so far so good. He is a very old pastor of a church of "bad christians." Stacy gave me an overview of it and it's basically about "God's annoying love for imperfect people." If there was ever a book I should be reading it's this one. I feel like some of us have been made to believe that we have to be a certain way in order to be "spiritual", but that's not the case at all. It's true that it's best to give up the things that don't feed you, but if a swear word flies out of your mouth when you get frustrated it shouldn't somehow make you less spiritual, am I right? This almost goes against everything I've ever been taught, but you don't HAVE to give up everything and change. It's better that you do and you will most likely be more fruitful, but imperfection is what God is drawn to. That's not to say that if you're less imperfect that the next guy that God isn't as drawn to you. Yeah, so this is confusing to me... my brain and my heart are having a battle, but my heart is going to win every time. Anyway, that's enough of that. I have an interview for an internship that I really want to get on the 25th, so be thinking of that if you would. It's a very challenging job and it would take up a lot of time, but it'll be really rewarding and a great learning experience. That's all for now from Marion!
Throwing caution to the wind
I've decided that sometimes its best to live your life if you throw caution to the wind. Say what you want to say when you want to say it. Tell someone how you're feeling when you're feeling it. Why not right? Your time on earth with the people you love and even people you don't love is limited. This isn't really a new theory or discovery, but something I want to try to follow. I just feel like there have been so many missed opportunitied because I was scared to say something or do something. Why? There's no reason really. What's the worst that can happen? Something different than what you want? That's life. I guess I just don't want to be overly analytical anymore, you know? Its okay to be careful on somethings, but not everything.Okay, I'm done. That was my little rant for the week. Be bold!So anyway, that's about all thats new. The wedding went well for the most part. There was a bit of a problem with another musician, but you'll have to ask me about that one. Leah was gorgeous, the whole thing was beautiful. I'm totally excited to head to Florida and my parents are coming at the end of the month which is going to be great. I'll get to take care of them in my home... a whole new experience for me. :o)I've been listening to a lot of old cds lately as I've been working around the apartment and it brings back tons of awesome memories... like from mission trips, youth group, and high school. One song has the power to evoke so much, it's insane! "Without music life would be an error." Nietzsche
traveling and so much more
Last Wednesday I flew into Chicago after a full day of traveling due to two delays and pulled up to my sister's new house in Plano at about 1:00am. I spent the next two days there and in Naperville hanging out with my niece and seeing some of the best friends I'll ever have. From there on Saturday I drove to Ohio for Leah's bachlorette party, which was awesome because I got to see a few more of the best friends I'll ever have. Left the party around 2, drove back to Marion with my roommate and crashed. It's actually all a blur to me. The past two weeks of my life have been crazy, but it's been awesome to be able to see everyone too.
When I finally rolled out of bed Sunday afternoon I began project "get my room in order" (aka "make my room look like anything but a dorm room") which consists of making curtains and a bedskirt, and sanding and refinishing my desk. I managed to get most of it done in one day too, which is amazing to me because I get easily distracted. By 8:00pm I was sitting on my livingroom floor, on a drop cloth sanding my desk and watching tv. When 10 rolled around I gave up on sanding and just watched tv til I fell asleep. Over the next 3 days I would stain, sand, and stain my desk until finally it was my desired color. I spent most of today hanging pictures, matting frames, and cleaning... and hanging with the roommate of course.
Can I just say that love doing this sort of thing. I've really enjoyed making my room and the rest of my apartment feel like home. So if you've been wondering what I've been up to, and I'm sure you have, there you have it.
On a different note, I went to my roommate's picnic for work and met a bunch of really interesting people. I got to work with her and her teens for a bit and it was really interesting, but sad too. (She works at a foster care agency) I can't imgine the living my life the way these kids have to and in some cases choose to. It is absolutely astounding what parents do to their children sometimes.
I've been looking for ideas for my senior project and my internship this fall and I really think that I want to do something for this place. Foster care creates so much hope for lost kids and a lot of the time it leads to adoption. If you're the praying type, pray that when I do my awareness/fundraising campaign for this place I'm successful so they can be successful too.
Anyway, Leah's wedding is this Saturday and I'm singing and playing in it along with another guitar, two singers and a pianist. We haven't and aren't going to be able to rehearse until the night before, so it's going to be crazy. I'm excited though because Theresa will be there and I haven't seen her in over a year because she was in China! Yay!
Well, there's what's new with me. I might be able to update this more often than I thought because somehow my wireless internet is picking up a signal from someone else. I wasn't going to get internet, but if it's available, I'm gonna use it. Night all.
