Moving Forward

Temporary Amnesia

2 more days and I'm done with school for the year... finally. This has been the longest year of my life and I mean that in a literal and figuritve sense. I have my lab final tomorrow and my class final on Tuesday and then I can leave! It's gonna be great to leave here. I get to head up to Illinois for a few days and go to the wedding of two really amazing friends from high school. The day after the wedding I'm outta the midwest! It's bittersweet and I flip flop back and forth a lot. I'm going to miss my roommate, but since she's been here she's been super busy and I never see her anyways, but I'm paying rent here even while I'm gone, so that kinda stinks. I'll get to Arizona and spend some time with my fam, start working, and then life will be mundane once again and I'll want to come back here. I'm only going to be home for 2 months this summer because I'm singing and playing guitar in a wedding back here, so I need to treasure my time at home.
I watched a sermon on tv this morning given by Pastor Steve DeNeff (the pastor at the church I go to here sometimes). He is amazing and actually very comparable to Pastor Scott, for those of you from home. He was talking about how you know for sure if you were saved and how one can even know it for sure. He talked a lot about our souls/spirits and the fact that they are alive, just like Christ is made alive through the Holy Spirit everyday. If you know Pastor Steve you know that he starts of and gives the main point, then he ges into a bunch of other stuff and some how manages to bring it all back full circle to the main point. You have to sit through a whole sermon to get the full effect, or it won't make much sense.
It was incredible though. It made so much sense and it seems like I've been searching for this for months. This is all stuff I knew in my head, but my heart needed a little outside reminder. I just wanted to share that with you because God is so amazing. I woke up this morning, way too early because I had all intentions of sleeping in, but for some reason I was wide awake and couldn't get back to sleep. So I went and flipped on the tv guide channel and saw that College Church was going to be on the IWU channel. I turned it on and it was as though there wasn't a tv in front of me, but like pastor Steve was speaking right to me. We've all probably had an experience like that, but it doesn't change the fact that it was amazing. What's more amazing is the lengths that the Lord goes to in order to make sure I hear Him.
I've been taught all of this since I came to know the Lord, but its almost like I get temporary amnesia and need reminding to bring it all back to me. Man, I must be getting old!

posted by Moving Forward @ 6:55 PM 0 Comments

Love and support

So, I get to go home soon and I can't wait. It's wierd that everyone else is home and done with school and I'm still here. Class is going well though. It's going by really quickly, which is great.
I was talking to my parents yesterday and we got to talking about me heading to Italy for a little while and what it'll be like. I suggested that they come so I can give them a grand tour and they loved the idea. Mostly though, I know that they loved that I'm happy and excited about it. There have been a million times in my life when I've taken advantage of my parents, or dissapointed them without knowing it at the time and they still love me and support me in all I do. I can say hurtful things or just be a spoiled brat, yet they still love me and give me all that they can.
I was thinking about this and how lucky I am to have parents who support me and each other in all aspects of life. I've been thinking a lot about how independent I've become since I was 16. The reason that I'm so independent is because my parents loved me enough to let go of me and do what I wanted to do at a younger age than most. They trusted me to stay in IL and finish high school when they had to move to AZ. I learned a lot of things the hard way, but it was by my choice. They aren't really the type to say "I told you so" and this is something I am really thankful for. I mean when I think about it, I've screwed up a lot, but they've always been here to pick up the pieces. In saying that I'm independent I don't mean that I'm not close with my parents, but I've learn to live without them hlding my hand. There are still so many days when I call home crying because I don't know what I'm doing or I didn't know what to expect in a situation, but they are always ready to drop what they're doing and do whatever they can to fix things for me.
I almost wish i wasn't as independent... but if I wasn't I wouldn't have the knowledge that I do. I just want to encourage you to tell your parents that you love them today. Thank them for everything that they've done in your life (especially the stuff you don't even realize they've done).
And take the time to thank God because if my earthly parents love and support me this much, just think of how much more my heavenly Father loves me and wants only the best for me.
Some will tell me I'm lucky, but I just say that I'm loved.

posted by Moving Forward @ 7:05 PM 0 Comments

Music

So apparently most people here at IWU have a Xanga. Who knew that these online journals would be so popular? I love seeing what people are up to and that's what reading away messages are for. I realize that I put a lot of stuff on here and in the past I've been pretty blunt with stuff, but I can't imagine being one of those people that just lay it all out there for the world to read.
I was looking at a friend's xanga today and on these site there are links to their friend's xangas. I can pretty much find anyone that goes to IWU on that site and find out what is going on in their life. It was just shocking to me reading through some people's journals.
Anyway, may I just say that guitar is an amazing instrument and I love it. I've been playing a lot this past week and I'd forgotten how much I love it. There's freedom in it. I can't describe it, but I love it. I'm sure if you play an instrument you know what I'm talking about. I absolutely love to sing as well, so it works out for me.
"Without music life would be an error." ~Nietzsche
I completely agree with him on this one. It never ceases to amaze me, ever. How good is God that He would create something so amazing?

posted by Moving Forward @ 8:03 PM 0 Comments

Randomness

Where are our priorities at? What should our priorities be? Are the things that we hold as important, really important? Should they be? Who defines importance in our lives?
That's a lot to think about, but those are some things that I've been asking myself this week. For the most part I think we all go through periods like this. It's not a bad thing, it's actually really good. It's puts you in check and helps keep you real.
Looking at my life I see that there are some areas that need to be closer to the top of my list and others that could stand to move on down. Something to remember is that life can never be perfect and life apart from Christ is even worse. It's never a good idea to let yourself think that you can handle life on your own. The only thing that that type of thinking does is belittle God and what He has done. These are things that I have to remind myself of. I've been trying for so long to handle everything on my own and I'm just now remembering what its like to give it to God. Its not something that I ever forgot in my heart, but my mind is tricky. I'm totally feeling vulnerable right now and I don't like it all that much, so that's enough of that. Let me know if you all know what I'm talking about.
On a different note I'm totally proud of my mom today. She got a promotion that she has deserved for a long time and I couldn't be happier for her. I love my family so much and I can't wait to see them in a few weeks.
There are so many things that I would love to elaborate on some stuff, but I can't concentrate when American Idol is on. I'll write more when I'm not in a room full of girls and a tv.

posted by Moving Forward @ 8:42 PM 0 Comments

Rollercoaster

I just got done writing a blog and the site went down, so I'm not doing it again. It's been a day/week of ups and downs. That's it. Just be praying if you think about it. Thanks. Lates!

posted by Moving Forward @ 9:38 PM 0 Comments

May term

I'm sitting in the student center where there isn't a person in sight. I've never stayed to take a May term class and now I know why. It's so dead here. Not to mention that I don't live on campus anymore and my roommate is currently on vacation. A lot has been going on in the last week, but it's been fun, thats for sure.
I went to Ashley's sister, Adrienne's wedding yesterday and it was beautiful. I've been to family functions like that with them before and its always a good time. They're great because when I have to be away from my family they make me feel like a part of their's. I also got to spend a few days in Naperville last week, which was amazing. I literally did nothing for two days other than visit an old teacher. I watched tv for hours at a time and slept. I totally needed a time like that to just do nothing because last semester was killer.
Class has started and so far so good. I'm taking earth science and I know it sounds nerdy, but I love it. I took it back in high school, but I just didn't remember how interesting it can be. It's a lab science so I'm in class everyday from 9-12 and then in lab from 1-3. I'm in class 5 hours a day, yet I'm only getting 4 credit hours... funny how the school works that out like that.
I got a call from one of my favorite people today telling me that she is engaged and it's exciting!! I have more weddings to go to and be in in the next 3 years than I ever will again, I think. College is crazy like that I guess.
So tonight is going to be my first night alone in my apartment and it's a creepy thought. It's funny... I can watch any scary movie and be fine, but the thought os being alone creeps me out. It'll be fine I'm sure. I have a few friends in town who are taking care of me. I did enjoy the day alone though. I cleaned, went shopping, and watched a lot of tv. Good stuff.
I should actually be reading for tomorrow's class, but I was bored with being home, so I came to campus. I don't have internet at the apartment yet and I probably won't until august because I'm going home for june and july.
Anyway, thats the update with me these days. The best way to get ahold of me is calling my cell. I'm not going to post my number, but if you've lost it feel free to email me.

posted by Moving Forward @ 7:33 PM 0 Comments